What are your values? What guides your everyday actions?
I think it is important to think about how you want to go through life daily. For me, I decided to come with a set of values to guide my daily actions.
I am truly convinced I could achieve anything I set out to do if I master them and get better at doing them everyday. Essentially preparing me for the challenges of life ahead being a Father/Brother/Son/Leader/Husband/Team Member etc.
These set of values are by no means fixed and has evolved over the years as I got older and more knowledgeable and will still evolve in future for sure.
I developed an acronym (YAPI HOAR) for mine to make it easier to remember.
Y – You can’t control how people evaluate you (Good or Bad). So waste no time thinking about this and try as much as possible to avoid this influencing your interaction with people.
This for me is the most important value and without it, other values will be very difficult to master and express. How often do we have the thoughts going on in our heads, does he think I am smart enough, does she think I am eloquent enough, does he think I am hardworking enough etc. Influencing others evaluations of us can’t be guaranteed no matter how hard we try, so why suffer yourself emotionally by thinking about these things?? Instead, focus the energy into adding value to yourself and to the world around you with an identity.
A – Authenticity. Authenticity for me means understanding and expressing things with simplicity and clarity avoiding big terms, avoid making things complex by looking smart or speaking big grammar but instead focus on your audience understanding your message.
P – Problem Solver. Getting any job done the fastest way possible with the knowledge you currently have (don’t aim for perfection) then acquire as much more knowledge as possible to enable you solve even more problems in future. Be very inquisitive and open minded, learn because you want to be able to solve even more problems in future. Don’t learn to brag (learning would become a burden this way), don’t overload your mind with unnecessary information, not all things are worth learning, a good way to know if something is worth learning is to ask yourself this question: can this help solve me solve a problem in future?
This value has really helped me overcome the imposter syndrome. There was a time in my life when I always doubted if I was good enough at anything. Using this mindset helped me adjust how I approached challenges. Now I just get the job done with my current knowledge, experience etc knowing fully well I am constantly a work in progress and would never be that perfect know-it-all person.
I – Improve people & my environment. Improve people around me, your relationships (catch up and be there for them), help them grow and get better. Be warm when communicating, communicate in a caring and encouraging tone especially via texts. Look for things you can build/do that would make your environment (local & global) better (Let this be the reason for giving talks, writing articles, giving back to the community etc). Use Empathy (put yourself in the shoes of others) always before judging others. When correcting someone, do so in a calm and non-forceful way, avoid shouting or frowning.
There is a super joy that comes from helping people and making them better. I don’t know where it comes from 🙂
H – Humble. Don’t brag and don’t show off about anything.
O – Open and Transparent. Be ready to talk about anything about yourself provided you are not exposing other people’s secrets in the process. Doing this helps to suppress getting agitated over what people exposing your secrets.
A – Approachable. Try to be approachable as much as possible. Smile more, avoid keeping a serious/frowning face.
R – Right Way. Do everything the right way, from washing plates to laying your bed etc. Don’t do things anyhow because no one is watching. Eventually you will realise that how you do anything is how you do everything.
Remember that everything will come and go (your status, your job, your circumstances etc) but your identity remains with you forever.